Iritis and Possible Blindness

After seeing my doctor on Tuesday, what he told me psychologically sunk in yesterday.
I have little vision out of my right eye right now. Several years ago I got sand in my eyes while surfing. Then three weeks ago I was swimming trying to get in shape for surfing...as I went to California last week. I snapped my swim goggles into my right eye, causing extreme pain and inflammation.

My condition is the INTERNAL swelling of the eye called iritis. And it can lead to blindness.
My doctor initially told me that extreme exercise...or even just getting upset can lead to the inflamation.

Well spot on, the doctor told me on Tuesday that my blurred vision may be permanent. This upset me greatly. My doctor was being honest, but ironically he might have further sprurred on the condition.

Then I volunteered to try to salvage a website for the GLSA and was accused of having "agendas". So very simply, I am removing myself from the Great Lakes surfing community and will no longer run a bunch of forums so that people can argue...and ridiclule me. Why? It upsets me.

I reverted to extreme pain yesterday. I did not run I did not exercise. I spent the day popping pain pills and being upset that my website that I set up over 8 years ago is not appreciated by almost anybody.

My solution? I will remove any negativity from my life. I will not allow myself to get upset...and I will cut off all contact with anybody who could introduce hostilility, abuse and negativity into my life.

If I do anything else, I could end up losing my sight entirely. And if that happenbed, I wonder how much will I would have to live.

Motivation in the face of Defeat

So I went to the Doc this AM. He says my impaired vision in my right eye may be permanent.
So on FRIDAY THE 13th he will make a recommendation for or not for surgery. Jeez.

But the ficticious character Rocky was against all odds. So am I. Others can surf with one eye.
My grandma was bind in one eye and nearly blind in the other, but could thread a needle.

So it was time to...go drinking...or running. I chose the latter.
If it is warm in the AM I will paddle one mile inn the Lake on my board.

Running 4/27/05 3 Miles
This weekL 11 Miles
Cumulative 11 miles.

First Busy Day: Temptation Eyes and the Lakefront Night Run

It is sort of funny, but this running thing fits like an old running shoe. Back when I was in prime shape, I ran the lakefront path religiously. And it it the same old Lakefront path, just improved with crushed limestone.

A night Lakefront run is always something special. The brisk winds stirred up lake Michigan a bit...and I was treated to a moonrise over one of the most stunning skylines on the plenet.
I am attempting to follow what I remember about Hal Higdon's marathon training. That is I plan to take off one day per week to rest up, I plan to run a big distance every weekend and cross train on a few days.

Temptation Eyes: I lusted after a gyros, but made it out of the restaurant only consuming a fresh broiled piece of trout and string beans.

4/26/05 3 Miles Time: Not timing yet.
Week Total: 8 miles Cumulative: 8 miles.
Surf plan: 1 mile paddle once this week.

Too Fat to Surf ??

Nine years ago I decided to be different and radically change. At that time I was morbidly obese. And having lived in California years ago in the 1980s, I had at one time known how to surf pretty well, I even shortboarded.

But then, after having been run over by a car a few years before, the best I could do was to lay on a bodyboard and hope that a wave would push me in. I squeezed into my XXL wetsuit gasping for breath. My heart pumped when I got out of a chair. I weighed 265 lbs and my clothes didn't fit.
My blood pressure was so high that if I laid down at night, my heart pumped so fast that i needed to drink a six pack just to fall asleep. If that was not enough, I drank a twelver. Or, if the twelever went down too slowly, I headed for one of the local bars and closed them down. Then I would go out to dinner, then crash.

One year after I had graduated with my first post grad degree, I was asked to join IBM's Banking and Finance Unit, on Wall Street. This meant constant travel on my part, my office was on Maiden Lane one block from the NYSE. And as such my travel was constant. I traveled twice per week to New York sometimes.

One project that I had in Boston really sucked. And the people on the project really sucked. The infighting was incredible. We constantly were required to "entertain" customers. This meant constant dinners...and drinking. At that point I could barely lift a surfboard, let alone stand up on one.

My last suit that I purchased on that project cost a lot of money and it could not be let out any further. I was constantly sweaty...and uncomfortable.

Anyway, that spring I saw the running of the Boston Marathon. I said to myself, I am going to do that, too! So I went to the running store at Fanuiel Hall and bought Jeff Galloway's book on running a marathon. I met him in that store, btw.

So instead of drinking with my colleagues, I ran. and I ran. And I ran. I lost over 60 lbs by marathon time. And by new years Eve, I'd lost 85 lbs. I did a total of three marathons, all of them in Chicago over the years. I also did two Chicago Triathlons. I joined a local Bally's in Boston and NYC. and best of all, I started running a 4.5 mile course to MIT and the Charles River, every single day.

By 2001 I was able to surf pretty well. I could do everything I wanted to, and more. I mosved to shorter boards, I was as light as ever. I now was at that time only 178 lbs. I considered competing. But I stopped running. I had three kids. I got depressed. I gained 47 lbs. I watched too much television. And I live in a fricking cold climate.

Worst of all, my surfing got worse. And then worse, and then worse. When used to easily paddle out to the lineup, now I feel like my board gets buried in the water when I try to punch through a wave. And a wave washes me off of my board! I am not strong enough to get through it...I am like a BEACHED WHALE!

Worst of all, my friend B_K shaped me a board, which I picked up this weekend at San Onofre. Besides the fact that I was blind in the water, I was TOO FAT AND HEAVY TO SURF. It was downright embarassing.

But I will change this. Today I signed up for the Chicago Marathon. And I ran five miles, slowly. Weigh In: 225.